Joryn
09-27-2009, 01:34 PM
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, <?xml:namespace prefix = st2 ns = "urn:schemas:contacts" /><st2:title w:st="on">Mr.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P kissed his wife good-bye and said, 'Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon.'
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the door bell, hoping to make a sale. <st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith </st2:Sn></ST1:Pcut in, embarrassed, <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comhttp://www.amichi.us/vbb/ /><o:p></o:p></B></P><P>'I've been expecting you.' </P><P> </P><P>'Have you really?' said the photographer. </P><P>'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' </P><P> </P><P>'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. </P><P>Please come in and have a seat! </P><P> </P><P>After a moment she asked, blushing, </P><P>'Well, where do we start?' </P><P> </P><P>'Leave everything to me. </P><P>I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, </P><P>and perhaps a couple on the bed. </P><P>And sometimes the living room floor is fun. </P><P>You can really spread out there. ' </P><P> </P><P>'Bathtub, living room floor? </P><P>No wonder it didn't work for <st2:GivenName w:st=</st2:GivenName>Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time..
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my’ <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P exclaimed,
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well...
when you consider their mother was difficult to work with..'
'She was difficult?' asked <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P
'Yes, I'm afraid so.
I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.
People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied.. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling,
I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached,
I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I just had to pack it all in.'
<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P leaned forward.
'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
Yes, It's true, Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
Uh...'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am.
I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's too big to be held by hand very long.'
<ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith Fainted.:babymonk:</st2:Sn></ST1:P
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the door bell, hoping to make a sale. <st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith </st2:Sn></ST1:Pcut in, embarrassed, <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-comhttp://www.amichi.us/vbb/ /><o:p></o:p></B></P><P>'I've been expecting you.' </P><P> </P><P>'Have you really?' said the photographer. </P><P>'Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?' </P><P> </P><P>'Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. </P><P>Please come in and have a seat! </P><P> </P><P>After a moment she asked, blushing, </P><P>'Well, where do we start?' </P><P> </P><P>'Leave everything to me. </P><P>I try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, </P><P>and perhaps a couple on the bed. </P><P>And sometimes the living room floor is fun. </P><P>You can really spread out there. ' </P><P> </P><P>'Bathtub, living room floor? </P><P>No wonder it didn't work for <st2:GivenName w:st=</st2:GivenName>Harry and me!'
'Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time..
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results.'
'My, that's a lot!', gasped <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P
'Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time.
I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that.'
'Don't I know it,' said <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. 'This was done on the top of a bus,' he said.
'Oh, my’ <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P exclaimed,
'And these twins turned out exceptionally well...
when you consider their mother was difficult to work with..'
'She was difficult?' asked <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P
'Yes, I'm afraid so.
I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right.
People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look'
'Four and five deep?' said <ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P, her eyes wide with amazement.
'Yes', the photographer replied.. 'And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling,
I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached,
I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment,
I just had to pack it all in.'
<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith</st2:Sn></ST1:P leaned forward.
'Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?'
Yes, It's true, Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.'
Uh...'Tripod?'
'Oh yes, Ma'am.
I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
It's too big to be held by hand very long.'
<ST1:P<st2:title w:st="on">Mrs.</st2:title> <st2:Sn w:st="on">Smith Fainted.:babymonk:</st2:Sn></ST1:P