Janari
11-19-2002, 01:17 PM
> Subject: FW: The College Theme Paper: He vs. She
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a
> prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.
>
> "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
> process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting
to his
> or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph
of a
> short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another
> paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
> and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each
> time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO
> talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The
> story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
>
> The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
> Rebecca -last name deleted, and Jim - last name deleted.
>
> STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
> reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
> liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off
> Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him
too
> much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the
> question.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
> (second paragraph by Jim)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
> in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
> neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
> spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17",
he
> said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No
> sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
> cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat
and
> across the cockpit.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one
> last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
> had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
> hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
Law
> Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper
> one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared
> out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed hurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
from
> her sense of innocent onder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
> must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of
> miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its
> lithium fusion issiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
> Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
Earth
> a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
> destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
> the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to
> pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
> initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
> atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and
85
> million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference
> table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow 'em
> out of the sky!"
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
> writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
> chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FRICKEN TEA??? Oh no,
I'm
> such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Arse hole.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Wench.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Wanker.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> slut.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Get Bent.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Eat crap.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Go drink some tea - whore.
>
> **********************************************
>
> (teacher)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one.
Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Well, here's a
> prime example offered by an English professor at an American University.
>
> "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The
> process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting
to his
> or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph
of a
> short story. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add
another
> paragraph to the story. The first person will then add a third paragraph,
> and so on back and forth. Remember to reread what has been written each
> time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO
> talking and anything you wish to say must be written on the paper. The
> story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."
>
> The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
> Rebecca -last name deleted, and Jim - last name deleted.
>
> STORY:
>
> (first paragraph by Rebecca)
>
> At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The
> chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now
> reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he
> liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind
off
> Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him
too
> much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the
> question.
>
> ------------------------------------------------------
>
> (second paragraph by Jim)
>
> Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now
> in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the
> neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had
> spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17",
he
> said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No
> sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish
> particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's
> cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat
and
> across the cockpit.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> He bumped his head and died almost immediately but not before he felt one
> last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever
> had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
> hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes
Law
> Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper
> one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She
stared
> out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed hurriedly
> and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
from
> her sense of innocent onder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why
> must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands
of
> miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother ship launched the first of its
> lithium fusion issiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the
> Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
Earth
> a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to
> destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty
> the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower
to
> pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly
> initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the
> atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine
> headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
> inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid, Laurie and
85
> million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference
> table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's
blow 'em
> out of the sky!"
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My
> writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at
> writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh shall I have
> chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of FRICKEN TEA??? Oh no,
I'm
> such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Arse hole.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Wench.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Wanker.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> slut.
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> Get Bent.
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Eat crap.
>
> --------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Rebecca)
>
> F YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------
>
> (Jim)
>
> Go drink some tea - whore.
>
> **********************************************
>
> (teacher)
>
> A+ - I really liked this one.