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Klytus
03-18-2003, 03:11 AM
NEW WORDS FOR 2003 - Essential additions for the American workplace

vocabulary:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was

missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

ADMINISPHERE: The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the

rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often

profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to

solve.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on

everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and

advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream

only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube

farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously farting while passing thru a cube farm,

then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to Prairie Dogging.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and

whiny.

SWIPEOUT: An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because

the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one's

workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but

you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O. J. trial, Monica

Lewinski are prime examples.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

404: Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message

"404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.

GENERICA: Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no

matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, and

subdivisions.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that

you've just pushed the 'send' button on an email with a BIG mistake.