Stoane
03-26-2003, 07:15 AM
The FDA is considering additional warnings on beer and alcohol bottles,
such as:
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
asshole.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you
can't remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
Thor.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the
space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time
may seem to "disappear."
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
such as:
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an
asshole.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring
story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
happened to your pants.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you
can't remember).
WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug
burns on the forehead.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are
tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named
Thor.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are
invisible.
WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an disruption in the
space-time continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time
may seem to "disappear."
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.